rebness | (no subject)

For someone who is morbidly (ha) afraid of death - and I mean truly, awake-at-4am-thinking-it-over afraid - I sure do like my cemeteries. In fact, the more afraid of death I grow, the more I love cemeteries. They have to be old, though, and the pain far removed from them. I don't like new tombs at all, but old ones are so peaceful and beautiful.

I'm going to start a series in my LJ and post some photos of my favourite graveyards. Thus far, I have Pere-Lachaise and Montmarte (Paris), La Tour de Carol (French/Spanish border), that awesome old one in Boston, Lafayette, St. Louis No.1 and the one I can't remember (New Orleans), San Michele (Venice), various Greek and English cemeteries and, um, a deeply saddening one in Sarajevo. Exciting and weird times!

Jim Morrison, we salute you. And steal from your grave.

This one's too sad and shiny and poor Edith. ;_;

Heloise and Abelard. This is a terrible photo but let me show you why...

Seriously. Renovations, you're necessary but confound me. >:|

Herp derp

Modigliani and my icon hunny, his lover Jeanne Hebuterne <3

The monuments in the WWII/Holocaust memorial are really hard to even look at.

And now Oscar Wilde.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. I can't really judge as yes, I have kissed that grave myself before...

And perhaps Oscar would find it all rather splendid...

...But I judge this clown so hard. What kind of person writes in textspeak on a memorial? (Probaby the same asshat who wrote 'Bon Jovi' on the front).

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In fact, the more afraid of death I grow, the more I love cemeteries. They have to be old, though, and the pain far removed from them. I don't like new tombs at all, but old ones are so peaceful and beautiful.

Oddly enough I've been going the same way. I might also be reversing my ideas about cremation vs. burial...

I think what I love most in your photos is when there are statues that really express emotion, like that woman holding the wreath. The Oscar Wilde thing intrigues me too, though I can't entirely put my thoughts about it together coherently. I'm not cool with people writing in permanent pen (and yeah, that text speak... no words!), but the urge to interact physically with the monument is interesting and hints at what I think is one of the reasons we deal with death so badly in our culture: there's rarely anything physical we can do to feel connected to the dead person. Even when people don't believe in life after death, something about kissing the monument/leaving notes and flowers reminds me of sympathetic magic: "my action is meaningful and worthwhile". It almost seems like they need a separate thing that people can kiss/write on, but I wonder if that would deflect their ardour from the actual monument...

Whee! I love the statues, too. They're so beautiful and so melancholy.

I think you make a really interesting point on the nature of monuments, actually. I don't know if you've seen that there has been a bit of controversy in England, where a council cleared all these balloons and teddy bears and things from peoples' graves because they felt it was too trashy.

My gut reaction is to go with them -- it seems that since Diana's death, excessive emotional grieving is the order de nos jours and something completely at odds with our erstwhile Anglo-Saxon stoicism.

Then again, why shouldn't people be allowed to touch, to grieve? Why is the Mexican day of the dead ritual so beautiful and so opulent but western European graveyards cold, dark places? Who is to say?

Yes, I've seen news items about that! It also comes up in relation to roadside memorials. My personal drawing-the-line point is when the teddybears get left to the elements and decay disturbingly - I don't think it was the intent of the leavers...!

I do sometimes wonder if there's a class element to these things, as regards what is seen as a 'proper', 'tasteful' or 'appropriate' way to mark someone's death.

I'm also not very convinced by the idea that it's against the national character; the sheer number of people expressing themselves in that way would suggest the national character is changing. It might be going back to what it was earlier; I understand (though would need to dig up references) that stoicism in the face of grief is historically a very recent change - Victorian or Edwardian, perhaps?

And yeah, there's also an argument that we're very charmed by leaving stuff at the grave when we can view it as a colourful foreign tradition, but balk at it on our own doorstep. I also wonder how it links to our post-funeral coldness: people here tend to make a fuss until the funeral and then suddenly all support vanishes... it's like putting things on the grave is a way to remind yourself and others that the grief is still there and needs acknowledgement...