You should go the Nigella route. One million calories in a single bite. Delia wears too many cardigans. Ainsley'smanic hand gestures makes a girl want to send his address to Armand in the hope that the auburn-haired one decides he wants a new pair of hands. And Anthony-Worral-Thompson looks like a scary, human Paddington Bear.

BRITISH WINE.

I have been conned by this foul concotion in the past too.

I like making my lasagna (when I can be arsed which is a rarety) the old italian way with not much white sauce and a few slices of good ham in between layers.