Malade Avec Snot

Oh, dear god... Have the Cold From Hell. Which is almost as bad as man 'flu, but have still dragged myself into work to leave bundles of tissues around in order to avenge myself upon colleagues.

Yesterday was spent sprawled on my bed in pyjamas, wallowing in self-pity. God, it was boring. Watched Princess Mononoke. Read some more of Diary but my eyes stung and so I resorted to attempting to teach the dog a new trick.

Anyhoo, there were lots of dreams. My favourite one was where I was a musketeer and having a splendid sword-fight up a staircase with Ashley from Coronation Street. Also got down to some feverish writing, which...er...took the form of Illness Haikus.

Kleenex

Crumpled white blossoms
Blanketing world with silence
Damn! More bog roll-quick!

River

Dripping like honey
Glistening like soft raindrops
Snot pours down my face.

Hello? Taste!

My, but life's unfair
Nothing has any flavour!
Time for Vindaloo.

Defeat

Carthage was destroyed
Troy fell before wooden horse
I'm defeated by cold.

What? I was bored!