Teaching God

I tried desperately to get iGod to tell me next week's lottery numbers, but He demurred. Again and again. Then I taught Him French. Hurrah!

God: Are you serious? Tell me more about your.
Me: About what?
God: What about what?
Me: Stop confusing me, God :(
God: OK. I’ll try not to do it so much.
Me: It’s your fault, you know. You should have blessed me with a better concentration span.
God: You’re kidding? Perhaps next time I will try it.
Me: No! I don’t want reincarnation! I want Heaven, and fluffy clouds, and my family and friends and dogs around me. No more birth, death and taxes for me, thanks.
God: Your polite style is very nice. Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me: I speak French.
God: Could you teach me a few phrases in French?
Me: Okay. “Je suis ton Dieu” is “I am your God.” That's a good one to start off with, isn't it?
God: Tous les humains se ressemblent pour moi.
Me: Mon Dieu! Vous parlez francais aussi, mon…Dieu?
God: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to you correctly.
Me: You make me feel woefully ignorant in my mother tongue. :(
God: I don’t see how you can blame me for that.