Angry!Meme

I was tagged by wiebke, and I'm a short, angry person, so why not?

1. Write down 7 things that piss you off
2. Tag 5

1. Chuggers
Apparently, charity muggers don't want my precious gold these days. They want me to sign up for an indefinite direct debit payment plan and curl their lips in disgust when I don't think I want to give money to the Give Monkeys Sugar Treats charity or somesuch charidee for the rest of my life. I'm irresponsible and in my twenties-- I can't guarantee I'll have enough money in my bank account each month, and will they help me out if I get overdraft fees? Then, even after five minutes of explaining myself away, they want me to call out "gouranga" for some condescending reason. What's worse is that now I have to storm past them with "I'm too busy!" or "je ne parle anglais!" or some such rot, when I despise being rude in public. Curse them and their politeness-eroding ways!

2. People throwing litter from cars
Raaaaaaaage!

3. Stepping on plugs
For some reason that obviously some technical bore will be able to relay to me, British plugs come with three prongs. Now, I know that this means our plugs should hurt less when stepped on, given that there are more prongs with which to carry the weight of the foot, but it doesn't seem like it. That early morning wake-up call which results in an agonised girly scream is perfected by the plug; a nail would be less painful (given that our floorboards sometimes relinquish a nail, I can attest to this.) The first two prongs impale your foot on either side, crippling you in the second it takes you to realise your folly. The third prong, like some prongy cyclops, impales the tender flesh beneath your toes. There is nothing on earth worse than that feeling. Except stepping on a plug in cotton socks: impalement and chafing. It's like a badly-written slash story.

4. Inaccurate pub!trivia
No, she/he/that guy didn't/couldn't/most certainly did not say/didn't/write "Let them eat cake"/meet Eva Peron/Greensleeves, you nuts. Oh, you're going to make me Google it, are you? Your loss, my fiver.

5. Off of
Where on earth did this come from? Harry got off of the chair, or Holden said piss off of.* What is this, tautology for the insane? Why is it prevalent in about 90% of fanfiction, thus making me want to spork my eyes out approximately twice a day?

6. Coup de Lait
Now, a couple of entries ago, I waxed lyrical about making the perfect cup of tea. When I wake up of a morning, after washing and dressing, I usually have about six minutes to have a cup of tea and eat some Shreddies at the same time. Nothing, but nothing, throws me off more than brewing my tea, preparing my Shreddies, only to realise that the milk has thick, decaying clots in it. And stinks of old socks. Cheers for that.

7. People who get the window seat on a plane that flies over the Alps, or gleaming Canadian ice sheets, or... or... anything gorgeous...
And then promptly close the blind. And fall asleep.

*I may have made up that second example.

Tagging: zhonghua2000, patchworkgirl_, wig_maker, avariecaita, ladydaydream.