And now for something completely different...

[rebness]

Let me paint a picture for you…

Each year, you begin to notice it. Summer has only just started, for God’s sake, but the June sky is no longer lightening. The Longest Day passes and you think nothing of it. It’s still light at 10pm and the birds are still singing when the Friday Night film premieres on cable… the days are hazy, warm, taken up with drinking beer or destroying your top layer of skin cells whilst sunbathing in the garden. July passes in the same lazy style.

And then it’s August. You’re sitting outside at your favourite café or bar, or riding home on the train—and you think, Hmm. I’m sure it used to be light at this time. But it’s August, and the festivals are on; the air is warm. A word is trying to force itself into your consciousness. “BL…” it whispers, “BLA—“ but you’re not listening, because someone hot in a skimpy top just walked past.

September comes. The children go back to school and your journey to work or university doubles in time because of the gridlock. No matter. It’s a beautiful crisp Autumn day. There’s a fresh feel to the air, but the leaves are still green. You listen to the radio in your care, and scrutinise the number plate in front: MW02 BLA. A vague sadness creeps over you. Something is gnawing at the edges of your memory; something dark and infinite and crushing. Whatever could it be? The lights turn green ahead. You cast the thought aside and continue on your way.

It’s October. “I can’t believe how quickly it’s getting dark!” your friend cries one afternoon, shocked at it being dark at seven. “And just think,” they say, with the vaguest hint of schadenfreude, “the clocks go back on Sunday.”

Oh, damn. It’s that time. It’s the Evil time of year, but it doesn’t truly strike you, not really, not until November when it’s 5pm and you’re on the motorway, cursing the driving rain and the fact that you can’t fecking see a damned thing because of all the…the… BLACK.

Yes, the BLACK is back! It has triumphantly crept up on us once more, causing BLACK havoc with road traffic accidents and muggings and depression and pain and it’s even happier because it can only continue to get BLACKER and BLACKER until the 22nd of December, when it will be so BLACK that you won’t be able to see anything outside by 3pm.

And the worst thing? The worst thing is that though summer just could not wait to be over, the BLACK shall remain with us until March and boy, are we all going to suffer in the all-encompassing and crushing BLACK until then.

IT IS THE RETURN OF THE BLACK TANK OF MISERY, REDUCING THE SKYSCRAPER OF HAPPINESS TO RUBBLE, EXPLODING THE MIDGETS OF MIRTH, CRUSHING THE FLOWERS IN THE FIELDS OF DESPAIR!

BLACK! BLACK! BLAAAAAAAAACK!

(That Becky; she totally doesn’t suffer from SAD, you know.)

Postblackscript: Already posted by me elsewhere, but deserving of further rantage.

Comments

[tsaress.livejournal.com]

I get SAD as well I totally hate it.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

I have to lay right near my lamp, close my eyes and pretend I'm on a sun-kissed beach somewhere... it's the only way to combat the really bad days of December. Stupid winter. >:

[jadedscorpion.livejournal.com]

It gets dark there by 3 pm? =:0 And I thought 4:30 was horrible.

Already here it's dark by the time I get off work. I drive there in the dark too--I never see any daylight. It's so depressing.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

Yeah. It's currently at 4.05 pm that it gets dark. That evil bloody weather! >:

I know what you mean... you go to work in the dark, you leave in the dark. Roll on, Spring!

[ozfille]

One thing for it. You will just have to emigrate to sunny Australia. Even in the depths of winter(July) the earliest the sun sets is 5.00PM, though we don't have looong twilights. Sort of semi-tropical.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

You know, I absolutely love living in Europe. But I swear to God-- if someone ever wanted me to leave here permanently for Australia, they'd just have to go on about the BLACK for a while and I'd be packing my bags.

[moon-chylde.livejournal.com]

I guess I am just really weird. I like when it get dark early. Around here, though, that is five in afternoon, not three. I don't think I would like it getting dark that early.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

Honestly, it's just so annoying. Particuarly if you get up late of a weekend then realise you have like three hours in which to do anything fun before the BLACK descends.

[saffronlie.livejournal.com]

In Melbourne it was still dusk at 8pm and I have to admit that, as much as we really don't need daylight saving in Queensland, it was cool in Victoria. I want to experience daylight at 10pm... without the blackness of winter. Still, I think you're a total drama queen. :p

[rebness.livejournal.com]

It's the BLACK and the COLD and the WINDS O'D00M... they bring out the drama in me. Don't get me started on when the winds o' doom start a-howling and screeching round my scary house... >:

[zhonghua2000.livejournal.com]

I don't mind the early darkness but I hate when it mixes with rain or worse, snow and rush hour traffic. Scary thing that. We will see hints of daylight growing again by mid-late January in the afternoon which is always nice. I am like up above -- out in the dark, home in the dark on working days. Interestingly enough, when Daylight Savings time comes back it gets BLAAAAAAAACK in the morning again for a while. Ew.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

It goes BLAAAACK for you? Bah! >:

We just can't win!

[jaffacakequeen.livejournal.com]

i have to frame that! LMAO

[rebness.livejournal.com]

I thought you'd appreciate it. :D

It better not be BLACK in Barcelona, unless it gives us an excuse to go into Spanish bars... :-D