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Oi, sc1ssors1ster! Thanks to your tale of birdy scariness, I had two separate nightmares about my old budgie last night, particulary its evil yellow head eaching into the seed compartment of its cage. The bird we had was yellow, and completely evil. I have a scar on my right hand thanks to its sheer evilness. And now, though thankfully dead, it has come back to haunt my Id. GRR!

So! In the tired manner of a sitcom "clips show", I was browsing through the amazingness of a paid account and decided to add some variety here. A phone post! Yaay! I'd very much like to fulfil my promise to avariecaita to read pr0n out loud without collapsing into laughter every couple of seconds, so this is perfect.

Then I read the information. International dialling rates. I suppose this means this post will be a one-off until, oh, Christmas 2007. Therefore, lovely Friends-List, must not waste this self-absorbed opportunity!

[Poll #432107]

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Specifically, if you read a fic, I'd love to hear part of Story of the Breasts or I Am Lestat's Confused Ramblings. A bit of Palahniukishness along with the VC, as it were. :D

LMAO! You do realise that if I read that out, I'm going to be killing myself laughing every five seconds? The Story of the Breasts slays me, if I do say so myself. ;)

They're both brilliant. I dunno if I could choose between. There ought to be more VC parodies of Palahniuk books. *ponders*

I loved Breasts more because of the insanity you and I came up with. LMAO!

If you ever write more for VC, may I respectfully suggest Palahniuk? Just brilliant.

I actually have a VC fic started from sometime last year. But yeah, Palahniuk. Hmm...Choke is right out, I think. Diary might work... Invisible Monsters has that sort of wacky road trip feel that could probably be parodied well...

LMAO! Petronia would make an excellent Brandy Alexander. ;)

Reading your fic reposts made me all nostalgic, like.

They made me nostalgic, too! Plus the fact that I was making up a recs page for my site and going through my old VC recs to add some of those didn't help any.

Muhahaha... crack. >:)

I don't know who Petronia is, though. Is that one of those newfangled vamps? *has not read past TVA*

Petronia is a hermaphrodite glamourous vampire who made Quinn by letting him suck from his/her private parts. :|

I knew you'd be thrilled. ;)

Ooooh! Yeah, now I remember! Hmm, but including hir would require reading Blackwood Farm.

Also wtf!? No sex for Louis and Lestat, no, God forbid, but some skanky hermie gets hir mini dick sucked by our wannabe Louis clone? And people wonder why I say fuck canon! :p

*dies laughing*

Bahahahaaaaaaaaa!

What has your poor brain ever done to you?! :O

Though I loved all of your fics, First Light turned out to be my favorite. It would be great to hear part of it read.

I'm not sure if I have the gravity of voice necessary for that fic, but I'll certainly consider it. ;)

Read one of the love letters I sent you.

Baby, even the part about the paper clips and the herring?

Oh honey, give them it all. Even the coathanger.

You manage to do phone posts? HOW??? I have tried so many times to the point I want to kill the American computervoiced woman on the other end for telling me something or other went wrong.

Uh-oh. Hope I don't run into the same troubles. :-/

Would the 18th Century French Etiquette Book be enunciated in French with a comedic Northern English Accent? How would that go now?

Oh, you know... "Eeh, by gum, prenez une fourchette et lamp that there snail good."

Something like that. ;)

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