Flies!

[rebness]

Arrgh! The suckiest thing about the British summer is the flies/wasps/other flying gits. You can rest assured that most of the summer will be blanketed in dark grey clouds (as the sky is now), but the chilly rain and miserable temperatures won't be enough to stop an influx of mosquitoes dining on prime British blood.

I was just sitting here minding my own business when a great big flying blob hurled itself at me. The fly, for that it was, buzzed maniacally and darted around the room, trying to land on my food, but, more alarming, my skin so that it could wipe all that crap it had collected all over me.

Out came the hairspray! Yes, people. Hairspray, as zhonghua2000 will agree, is the weapon of choice when it comes to flies. It sticks their wings together and means a quick twatting, as opposed to you choking on fly spray. I chased it around the room, screeching and jumping on and off the bed as it kept flying straight at me, then coated it in spray at the window. Ahahaha. Fly: 0 Becky: 1.

I really, really hate flies. They disgust me. An idle Google search tells me that there are 1,450 instances of "I hate flies" on the interwebs. A similar search for "I hate spiders" yields 15,200 results.

Now, I'm an arachnophobe. A spider is enough to send me shrieking out of the room, but really? Some filthy thing that wallows in excrement before vomiting over your food, that spreads diseases in some countries versus a Scary Thing With Too Many Eyes and Legs. It doesn't make sense, though I can tell you I'd be too terrified to face a spider even with the hairspray o'd00m.

Comments

[dreamlifeof.livejournal.com]

Who will stand with you against the forces of the multi-legged, unfeasibly complex-eyed, silent or sometimes buzzy terrors of the home? Me. I have had recent experiences of burrowings through a ventilation shaft that would chill Sigourney Weaver to the marrow.

Bang! I add you.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

You need to get a cat. They're excellent at clawing insects into tiny little bits.

Added you back, though am curious-- how did you find me?

Ventilation shaft tyranny is yet another reason why we must pursue this War on Terrorising Insects.

[dreamlifeof.livejournal.com]

Yes, but if I had a cat it would claw all my wool-based garments into tiny little bits.

I can't remember how I found you, but I was hopping from site to site in a frenzy of boredom. (I was originally trying to read the Observer - I am sure you understand how I started getting a little distracted.)

I stuck brown tape all over the ventilation grille to block the entry of the eight-legged ones. The number of years of bad luck I've run up obliterating arachnids from my life. And still I stomp, stamp, dice and slice. And now tape.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

I haven't yet found a good way to get rid of spiders. A friend of mine actually collects them and pits them against each other in a deathmatch. I just rely on the clothes-shredding cat. Dicing and slicing sounds most excellent though.

Ah, Observer. That's fine by me.

[dreamlifeof.livejournal.com]

Dice, slice, then may I recommend a little sauteeing in a white wine sauce? Uncover, sprinkle with a little coriander and serve.

I used to have a black gentleman caller of the feline persuasion who, Paul McCartney would be pleased to know, came in through the bathroom window. I once saw him pounce on and devour a house spider, but the sight of a crumpled leg or two sticking out of his furry mouth is a horrid memory.

Spider death match. I was thinking a great reality TV show idea they haven't exploited yet would be Celebrity Slave Trade. You work out the details.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

I once saw him pounce on and devour a house spider, but the sight of a crumpled leg or two sticking out of his furry mouth is a horrid memory

*Shudder*

[setting-sun.livejournal.com]

Just like to register my amusement at the phrase 'other flying gits'.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

Best way to group them, I think. ;)

I always did wonder who shot Liberty Valance.

[setting-sun.livejournal.com]

Don't want to spoil the film for you, but let's just say it wasn't Jimmy Stewart.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

Oh, good. I can't imagine an angel getting his wings if he pulled off something wicked like that.

[zhonghua2000.livejournal.com]

An idle Google search tells me that there are 1,450 instances of "I hate flies" on the interwebs. A similar search for "I hate spiders" yields 15,200 results

ROFLMAO!!! *ahem* You're weird. :p

HOWEVER, 863,000 results were gotten with a search of "I hate bees" and being the Apiphobe or Melissophobe (depending on which Greek word you like best) that I am-- I WIN! That and you get an extra 5000 points because this entry is the closest thing that I've ever seen to a Statistical Report of Analysis.

*I wonder what Mousse would do?* >:)

[dreamlifeof.livejournal.com]

Api is Latin, surely?

[zhonghua2000.livejournal.com]

EEEK! So it is. ;)

[wig-maker.livejournal.com]

I wonder what Mousse would do?
The insect version of a foam party.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

So that's the reasoning behind student foam parties. What a good idea. >:)

[rebness.livejournal.com]

See, I can handle bees, though I also tend to run off if they're present, as well. The only insect that doesn't send me running is a butterfly, really.

There are 607 instances of "I hate butterflies", according to Mr. Google.

[wig-maker.livejournal.com]

Bah! Every night in this house, before fleeing to the land of nod, I have to battle my way through the gang of flies that mob my room. There was one, inparticular, that I couldn't find for two nights. After having been sprayed with bug killer it had decided that a quick death just wasn't enough, and so remained to torment me from falling to sleep, as it had positioned itself next to a plastic bag and every time the bleeder buzzed the noise was louder than normal as it's wings hit against the bag. Oh but when I found it, it felt my wrath... as I trapped it in a bottle 'cause I'm scared to kill them ever since reading a story as a child of the flies that attacked this boy in his sleep after he squished one, Jeff Goldblum not included in that story.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

Oh my God! Did you ever see that trashy movie where the cockroaches avenged themselves on a guy who was too fond of swatting them? I still have nightmares about that.

[wig-maker.livejournal.com]

I haven't! That's another one for the nightmare/fear list.

[ozfille]

So it seems you'll never visit our fair shores. We have poisonous spiders (red-back, funnel-webs, etc) who love living with people, squadrons of bush flies, blow flies and the pesky ones that swarm at your eyes for moisture and atttempt to crawl into your mouth, bloody great swarms of mosquitoes from the Hexham Grey to encephalitis and dengue fever carrying mossies in the far North and of course the giant flying cockroaches. What a pity. :(

[rebness.livejournal.com]

I've whined to saffronlie before that the thing most preventing me from ever visiting Australia is the big scary spider/snake/fly/things from the depths population. At which point, she rolls her eyes and tells me I overreact to things.

Which I do, but still! I couldn't take it. It's ridiculous for such a phobia to prevent one from serious travelling, but I don't think I'll ever get over my inherent fear of wee beasties.

[ozfille]

We could rig you out in a tasteful akubra with the corks hanging from it or if you want maximal protection a full bee-keepers' veil thingy. We can provide you with a super jumbo maxi-size can of Aeroguard to spray the little blighters and a big can of a body spray of Rid-it so you have that distinctive eau-de-insecticide. Or you could come in the Australian Winter. Yesterday was sunny and still and 23 Deg Celsius. Very few flies, mozzies and cockies in the winter and no cyclones up North where I gather saffronlie resides.

Also most houses do have screens. Unfortunately my rented flat does not.

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

Here's a question. I saw on our old friend, hp_britglish once someone saying that Brits don't have screens on their windows. I assumed this meant, then, that you didn't get a lot of bugs, because otherwise, it would make sense to, you know, put on screens so that bugs weren't constantly coming in. So, are screens indeed uncommon? Do you just tend not to open the windows that much?

[rebness.livejournal.com]

It's true; we don't have screen doors or screens on our windows. I think it's because, for six months of the year, we're free of the little flying menaces, but when summer comes around and you can't leave your window open for fear of mozzie bites, you start wishing it was something we'd implement. It's only really unbearable between June-September, but I've definitely noticed more of a problem with insects in the last few years. I could swear we never used to have mosquitoes this far north... probably to do with the theories about Europe hotting up of late.

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

Wow, that'd suck. Here we don't really have any bugs in the winter, either, but it's just standard that all windows have screens on them. Also keeps all the squirrels, birds, and stray cats out, which we have lots of all year round.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

Oh, God, yes. That's another thing-- the bloody birds. Chasing a robin around the house (as happened a couple of months ago) is no fun in the heat, I tell you.

[saffronlie.livejournal.com]

:::sigh::: There was a giant super-fly crawling all over my monitor last night. I let it be and it flew away. And anyway, creepy-crawly thingies are so much worse than eight-legged or winged things.