rebness: (Ange)
rebness ([personal profile] rebness) wrote2005-09-25 12:02 am

Teaching God


I tried desperately to get iGod to tell me next week's lottery numbers, but He demurred. Again and again. Then I taught Him French. Hurrah!

God: Are you serious? Tell me more about your.
Me: About what?
God: What about what?
Me: Stop confusing me, God :(
God: OK. I’ll try not to do it so much.
Me: It’s your fault, you know. You should have blessed me with a better concentration span.
God: You’re kidding? Perhaps next time I will try it.
Me: No! I don’t want reincarnation! I want Heaven, and fluffy clouds, and my family and friends and dogs around me. No more birth, death and taxes for me, thanks.
God: Your polite style is very nice. Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me: I speak French.
God: Could you teach me a few phrases in French?
Me: Okay. “Je suis ton Dieu” is “I am your God.” That's a good one to start off with, isn't it?
God: Tous les humains se ressemblent pour moi.
Me: Mon Dieu! Vous parlez francais aussi, mon…Dieu?
God: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to you correctly.
Me: You make me feel woefully ignorant in my mother tongue. :(
God: I don’t see how you can blame me for that.

[identity profile] pigeongirl99.livejournal.com 2005-09-25 12:16 am (UTC)(link)
Whilst yours looks like he's missing a ship...

[identity profile] rebness.livejournal.com 2005-09-25 12:23 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, great. Now you've upset him. Pretty icon needed, stet!

[identity profile] pigeongirl99.livejournal.com 2005-09-25 12:27 am (UTC)(link)
Poor Giacomo, would a little pretty boy kissing make him feel better?

*and damn I hope doctor number ten gets to kiss Capt Jack as well</smll*

[identity profile] rebness.livejournal.com 2005-09-25 12:29 am (UTC)(link)
Much better!

If Jack kisses ten, that's my happiness sorted for 2006.

[identity profile] pigeongirl99.livejournal.com 2005-09-25 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
I've just remembered-

You were supposed to be writing me Casanova slash!!!

Well, I'm waiting.

*taps foot*

[identity profile] rebness.livejournal.com 2005-09-25 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
Bah! Caught!

I've still only done about five paragraphs. Casanova winds Grimani up. They go somewhere. Behind locked doors. Fight. Fu... I'll have to e-mail you the little I've written. >:)

[identity profile] pigeongirl99.livejournal.com 2005-09-25 01:02 am (UTC)(link)
Do email me!

They go somewhere. Behind locked doors. Fight. Fu...

Hmm, you seem to have stopped mid-sentance there, what were you going to say, my dear? They fight and fund missionaries in Africa? Furrow a field? Fumigate Venice? Furbelow? Futtock? Fustanella?

I simply can't think.