rebness: (Fatty and Spotty)
Because [livejournal.com profile] saffronlie and [livejournal.com profile] mothergoddamn were like Eve waving anger apples at my befuddled Adam, I am going to join in with the Friday Rants:

1. Could care less.
COULD CARE LESS, could you? So you actually do care about this thing? Why is it that the people who write this increasingly common, baffling mistake on the internets never take the time to think about how stupid the construction of this phrase is? I couldn't care less if me thinking you're stupid for continually making this mistake upsets you.



Runner-up: Your/you're

2. Catalan Trains
I hate you, Catalan trains. I hate your graffiti-covered windows. I hate your stupid refusal to help the disabled by having huge tilting trains stop at tiny little platforms that means I literally have to take as wide a step as possible to mount the first step. How do people in wheelchairs and the elderly cope? I hate your savagely rude passengers and the way they poke and shove and sweat all over me. I hate the way they won't let me off the train if it's packed. I hate the way you have to announce absolutely everything in Spanish and Catalan. I hate your poor design. Te odio! >:

3. Sultanas
How do you manage to find your sinister way into everything I like?

4. People Who Sit on the Fence for Every Single Issue
Now, most situations call for devil's advocates. You know things that don't? Human rights; cruelty for the sheer pleasure of it; Scientology. There are people for complete rights for the oppressed or for equality for women, gay marriage or child welfare programmes and then there are those who are completely opposed to these things. Fine. Let's sit down and debate this. But don't come at me all, "Ooh, er, I can't possibly have an opinion on this. Each to their own, eh?" No. These things are important. We do not just turn a blind eye because it's difficult to think about. It's not like choosing your favourite ice-cream flavour: it's important. For the record, I can't choose between mint choc chip and cookies and cream.

5. Lift Etiquette
I know that [livejournal.com profile] mothergoddamn has something to say about lifts, but this is my own personal gripe: if it's the morning, please do not hold the doors open for people alllllll the way across the hall. There are four lifts - stop making me late(r) whilst you let them make their own sweet time across the foyer. Yes, I am that girl who gives you the evils when you hold the lift to go up one whole floor. And yes, I totally saw you coming. I still pressed the 'close doors' button, anyway. Bye!
rebness: (Truly Madly Geekly)
The Guardian has an awesome debate going on right now, attempting to find the worst song lyrics ever. It´s still open for anyone who wants to post, but some of the submissions really bring on the lulz. Rhyming ´toast´ and ´ghost´, indeed.

Caring about the lyrics to a song is one of those weird things that makes one feel adrift from society. Why be so bothered that the Pussycat Dolls unleashed their latest massacre of the English language? Does Paul Simon being a better lyricist than Las Ketchup make him cooler in the public eye? Noes, alas.

My brother firmly insists that songs don´t need to have good lyrics, that lyrics are just incidental words getting in the way of a tune. I believe the opposite: lyrics can make a song. Sometimes a song doesn´t reach out to me much at first, but the lyrics can make the difference. If I hear a particularly good lyric, I often rewind the song on my mp3 player or what have you to listen again. The plaintive refrain in If You Tolerate This, for example, that wonders "is it maybe shame/at being so young and being so vain" always gets me. It means something to me on a personal level and listening to this song is like being slapped. I struggle to explain this properly, but I mean that the combination of that beat and those saddened, dark lyrics gives me a few minutes of so many different emotions and thoughts because the power of music and the power of words can be overwhelming when joined like that.

That´s not to say lyrics completely ruin a song. God knows Shakira´s lyrics are infamously nuts, but I could listen to her music all day because of the sheer energy and fun of her songs. I love the beat to Oasis´ The Importance of Being Idle, but I try not to think about the lyrics because it´s disappointing to listen for a message and instead get simplistic rhyming.

Oasis songs often sound marvellous, but the sheer stupidity of the lyrics really gets me:

She´s got a sister
And God only knows how I´ve missed her
And on the palm of her hand is a blister
And I need more time


Criticising 50 Cent lyrics is like shooting fish in a barrel, but: I´ll take you to the candyshop/Let you lick my lollipop has to be one of the most inept, predictable lyrics ever written.

Finally, I have to admit that I rather like some Jennifer Lopez songs, but though this lyric isn´t inherently stupid, the rhyming scheme is just all wrong and Lopez actually seems to stumble when speaking the second lengthy line:

So much time you wasted
That´s why I had to replace you

I´m not saying that lyrics need to be written by someone with a degree in the arts, that they have to reference Derrida or Socrates, but geez, save us from Babe, I´d swim the deepest ocean/climb the highest mountain/girl/you´re my babe.

rebness: (MOVE)


The Words I Hate

So, I said I made a list of words I really, really hate. Here they are. It was either show you them, or go on ad nauseum about baby names, which would be about as interesting as… actually, I can’t think of anything more boring.

1. Bowels
2. Stool
In the medical sense. I don’t have anything against chairs.
3. Cloud
Granted, probably because my life is controlled by clouds
4. Snout
5. Bound
I don’t know why. I just hate the long vowel sound.
6. Eurotrash
Obviously, because it’s insulting, far too generic and, ironically, is always used by trashy people.
7. Discharge
Either the bodily kind, or the “Hello! Lots of discharges today, which means several hours of admin work for you!
8. Like
Not the word per se, but more that it is like interjected like so much for like no discernible reason, like.
9. Mofo
I refuse to give that word its full title. Both childish and vulgar all in one
10. Chicken
Ever heard a Liverpudlian pronounce it? It’s akin to schikkin.

Additions, anyone?

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August 2013

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