1. Could care less.
COULD CARE LESS, could you? So you actually do care about this thing? Why is it that the people who write this increasingly common, baffling mistake on the internets never take the time to think about how stupid the construction of this phrase is? I couldn't care less if me thinking you're stupid for continually making this mistake upsets you.
2. Catalan Trains
I hate you, Catalan trains. I hate your graffiti-covered windows. I hate your stupid refusal to help the disabled by having huge tilting trains stop at tiny little platforms that means I literally have to take as wide a step as possible to mount the first step. How do people in wheelchairs and the elderly cope? I hate your savagely rude passengers and the way they poke and shove and sweat all over me. I hate the way they won't let me off the train if it's packed. I hate the way you have to announce absolutely everything in Spanish and Catalan. I hate your poor design. Te odio! >:
How do you manage to find your sinister way into everything I like?
4. People Who Sit on the Fence for Every Single Issue
Now, most situations call for devil's advocates. You know things that don't? Human rights; cruelty for the sheer pleasure of it; Scientology. There are people for complete rights for the oppressed or for equality for women, gay marriage or child welfare programmes and then there are those who are completely opposed to these things. Fine. Let's sit down and debate this. But don't come at me all, "Ooh, er, I can't possibly have an opinion on this. Each to their own, eh?" No. These things are important. We do not just turn a blind eye because it's difficult to think about. It's not like choosing your favourite ice-cream flavour: it's important. For the record, I can't choose between mint choc chip and cookies and cream.
5. Lift Etiquette
I know that mothergoddamn has something to say about lifts, but this is my own personal gripe: if it's the morning, please do not hold the doors open for people alllllll the way across the hall. There are four lifts - stop making me late(r) whilst you let them make their own sweet time across the foyer. Yes, I am that girl who gives you the evils when you hold the lift to go up one whole floor. And yes, I totally saw you coming. I still pressed the 'close doors' button, anyway. Bye!