Music be the Food of Rage

[rebness]

zhonghua2000 posted recently about the alleged fifty worst songs in the world. Being a bitter sort of person, there are an infinite number of songs I hate, so I decided to make my own list of





1. When You Say Nothing At All
I hate manipulative granny-favourite Keating. Hateesss him and all he touches. He has the reverse Midas touch, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
2. The Closest Thing to Crazy, by Katie Melua
This song drives me flippin’ crazy. Moreso on that awful DFS advert. I have it in for Melua because everyone gushes about how amazing and talented she is, how independent… SHE IS MANAGED BY THE GUY WHO WROTE THE WOMBLES SONGS. He writes her songs, her decides her “sound”, he manipulates her to be what the public want. The wombles were less puppets than this clown.
3. The Power of Love, by Jennifer Rush
STOP screaming!
4. If There’s Any Justice in the World, by Lemar
How many times can you repeat the word “justice” in a whiny voice in a song? Lemar tries to find out.
5. Angels, by Robbie Williams
I hate the way everyone in Britain seems to think this song is for them and their one twue wove!
6. All This Time, by Steve Brookstein
Scary Pop Idol winner.
7. Ladies’ Night, by Atomic Kitten
Get away from me, pram-face
8. Wannabe, by The Spice Girls
Or, the moment when Britain was conquered by Chavs.
9. All the Small Things
Do Blink 182 have to be so obnoxiously loud?
10. I Will Survive
Karaoke Hell
11. The Final Countdown, by Europe
12. My Prerogative, by Britney Spears
13. Think Twice, by Celine Dion
14. Die Another Die, by Madonna
15. Anything by Ja Rule. Ever.
16. Anything by Westlife. Ever.
17. Surfin’ USA, by The Beach Boys
18. Ruby Tuesday, by the Rolling Stones
Ever read the lyrics? Such childish rhyming words.
19. Ferry Across the Mersey, by Gerry Marsden
Tacky, sentimental Scouse claptrap still haunting the Liverpool ferries today. Feel your heart sink into your chest as Gerry Marsden’s voice reverberates like a rattled tin over the dark waves of the Mersey.
20. Eye of the Tiger
Just say NO!
21. I’m Outta Love, by Anastasia
So very loud
22. Invisible Man, by Queen
A low point in time for one of the greatest ever bands.
23. Anything by 50 Cent.
What an asshat.
24. Korn’s songs for Queen of the Damned
Oh, dear me.
25. We Built This City (on rock and roll)
26. Anything by Keane. Ever.
Bland, grey gits.
27. Trouble, by Coldplay
28. Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini, by Timmy “twat” Mallet
29. Can We Fix It, by Bob The Builder
I’ll Fix him!
30. Footloose
I have reasons for this. In my old job, in WHSmith, they would put this song on repeat, LOUD. I was suicidal by the end of the day. Good at clearing customers from the store, though.
31. Loving You, by Minnie Riperton
32. I Heard it Through the Grapevine
Decent enough song, but on EVERY sixties compilation album, ever.
33. The Year 2525, by Small Faces
Actually, a good song. But also the most needlessly depressing song ever.
34. Holding Back the Years, by Simply Red
Hucknall: twat.
35. Anything by Usher
36. Reach for the Stars, by S Club 7
Idiots.
37. I Just Called to Say I Love You, by Stevie Wonder
Hark to The Barry
38. Asereje, by Las Ketchup
Admittedly, a guilty pleasure.
39. Never Gonna Give You Up, by Rick Astley
40. Rock the Boat, by Aaliyah
Tsk. Poor Aaliyah, dying for such a middle-of-the-road song.
41. Rock the Boat
You know, the one that those singing trouts whine.
42. Anything by McFly
43. And Busted
44. And Geri Halliwell
45. And Co-op Spice (Victoria Beckham)
46. Also, *Nsync
47. Shout, by Lulu
Hush, Shouty McShout!
48. Take Me to the Clouds Above, by LMC vs. U2
No. Just no, all right?
49. Girls, Girls, Girls, by Duran Duran
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
50. If You’re Not the One, by Daniel Bedingfield



In non-bitter news, thanks everyone for the birthday wishes! Was most splendid.