I got up to make my breakfast. I had bought some mushrooms, duck eggs and shizz so I was going to treat myself to an English fry-up. I start cooking when I notice that water is spilling from the sink. Hallelujah! The flat was flooding, again! Panicked, bailed water out, fixed it and returned to cooking.
I reach up to get a pan when I notice something *large* scurry from the cupboard and try to hide, but it's too big. I think it's a moth or something, so lean forward curiously.
Instead, I find myself screaming, "No, no, GOD NO!" and backing away in complete horror. It's a damned cockroach! I can't even begin to express how terrifying I find them, how they conjure up images of dirt and squalor and OMG DID YOU EVER SEE CAT'S EYE WHERE THEY CRAWL OUT OF THAT MAN'S MOUTH?!
So the cockroach is all, "WTF! Outta here!" and tries to escape beneath the cupboard and I know that I will never, ever sleep again if I don't get it*, so I leap forward and try to do something. But what? What! If I crush it, won't more zombie cockroaches rise from it and be all I am Legion?
I grab the nearest thing to hand -- the clicky fire thing for the oven, and enter the Hellmouth. The cockroach begins to scurry away (IT'S SO BIG THAT IT MAKES A NOISE) and then? It stops. It stops, turns, and LOOKS AT ME. I see its beady, evil little eyes staring straight at me. I'm frozen with fear. Then I'm all, "Oh, hell no!" and reach forward and click the clicky thing and the cockroach goes up in a whoosh of fire (Why yes, I am the family pyromaniac, how'd you guess?)
It falls to the worktop area and I'm all, "Die! DIIIIIIIE!" and shrieking in horror at the same time. I burn it and burn it just to make sure, then dump its corpse in the bin outside.
After that, I spent all day shrieking in horror and too scared to go into the kitchen. I caught zhonghua2000 online and shrieked to her for about an hour (her efforts to calm me were doomed to failure when she told me that one cockroach means a million more) and then I spent all night trying to get to sleep.
*I DID NOT SLEEP for two nights. I was terrified they were going to attack me en masse.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-10-10 09:23 am (UTC)I got up to make my breakfast. I had bought some mushrooms, duck eggs and shizz so I was going to treat myself to an English fry-up. I start cooking when I notice that water is spilling from the sink. Hallelujah! The flat was flooding, again! Panicked, bailed water out, fixed it and returned to cooking.
I reach up to get a pan when I notice something *large* scurry from the cupboard and try to hide, but it's too big. I think it's a moth or something, so lean forward curiously.
Instead, I find myself screaming, "No, no, GOD NO!" and backing away in complete horror. It's a damned cockroach! I can't even begin to express how terrifying I find them, how they conjure up images of dirt and squalor and OMG DID YOU EVER SEE CAT'S EYE WHERE THEY CRAWL OUT OF THAT MAN'S MOUTH?!
So the cockroach is all, "WTF! Outta here!" and tries to escape beneath the cupboard and I know that I will never, ever sleep again if I don't get it*, so I leap forward and try to do something. But what? What! If I crush it, won't more zombie cockroaches rise from it and be all I am Legion?
I grab the nearest thing to hand -- the clicky fire thing for the oven, and enter the Hellmouth. The cockroach begins to scurry away (IT'S SO BIG THAT IT MAKES A NOISE) and then? It stops. It stops, turns, and LOOKS AT ME. I see its beady, evil little eyes staring straight at me. I'm frozen with fear. Then I'm all, "Oh, hell no!" and reach forward and click the clicky thing and the cockroach goes up in a whoosh of fire (Why yes, I am the family pyromaniac, how'd you guess?)
It falls to the worktop area and I'm all, "Die! DIIIIIIIE!" and shrieking in horror at the same time. I burn it and burn it just to make sure, then dump its corpse in the bin outside.
After that, I spent all day shrieking in horror and too scared to go into the kitchen. I caught
*I DID NOT SLEEP for two nights. I was terrified they were going to attack me en masse.