Meme: twenty favourite characters

[rebness]

The 20 Favourite Characters Meme, as ganked from mothergoddamn.

In no particular order...
Bernard Black, from Black Books



'And yes, I am aware that it is traditionally bad form to respond to any kind of criticism or rejection, but in this, as in all else, I am an innovator, which is why I may freely address you as: piss midget.'

Why: He has his own book shop. He's bitter, twisted and acerbic. He has red wine for breakfast and despises the plebs who don't understand good literature. I...I'm in love.

*

Annie from Being Human



'I quite fancy Hufflepuff, actually. I've always thought in Hufflepuff they just spend the day making stuff with safety scissors and glitter.'

Why: She's just freaking adorable. Best character in that programme, by far.

*

Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights





'Don't leave me in this darkness where I can't find you!'

Why: as mothergoddamn put it, Heathcliff and Cathy are a pair of rhymes-with-shunts. Their destructive obsession with each other lays waste to a trail of people, dreams, hanged dogs and creates a vicious circle of bitterness. And yet, I love Heathcliff. He's not so much the Byronic hero to me as the dark, emotional thing that shocked and dismayed Victorian society. How could a mere woman ever think up such a depraved character? Because Emily Bronte was awesome, that's why.

*

Jay, from The Inbetweeners



'That's what you get for leading on paedos, you slut!' (this isn't so bad when you know the context.)

Why: Hateful, disloyal, sex-obsessed loser. Umm.

*

Louis de Pointe du Lac, from The Vampire Chronicles



'I wanted to be where there was nothing familiar to me. And nothing mattered. And that’s the end of it. There’s nothing else.'

Why: He's self-hating, sees his existence as a curse and constantly tells Lestat how idiotic his schemes are. And yet, he's strong, refined and totally the trendsetter for kiss-and-tell vampire stories. So there.

*

Nuria Monfort, from The Shadow of the Wind




'There are worse prisons than words.'

Why: She's sad and strong and awesome. I love stories about thwarted!love. But what about the characters like Linton from Wuthering Heights, caught up in the middle of someone else's passion play? Well, that's Nuria. And yet she's selfless and loyal, even as her own love for Julian Carax eats away at her.

*

 

Regina, from Mean Girls



'Good. So that's settled. So you can go shave your back now.'

Why: Polite, softly-spoken psychopath, and the best character in the film for that.

*

Atticus Finch, from To Kill a Mockingbird




'I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.

Why: Because he's a fictional character who is actually a moral guide for us. He's everything you wish your lawyer, or your father, or anyone to be.

*

Blanche, from Coronation Street



'You're going to have to learn to take pleasure in the misfortunes of others, Ken, or you're going to have a very miserable old age.'

Why: Because she says what we're all thinking.
 

*

Eva Khatchadourian, from We Need to Talk About Kevin



'I feared that at bottom I hated my life and hated being a mother and even in moments hated being your wife, since you had done this to me, turned my days into an unending stream of shit and piss and cookies that Kevin didn't even like.'

Why: Kevin may be the fascinating antagonist of the story, but Eva, his mother, is the wry, slightly icy woman who sees through him from the beginning. I love how she is written. She's shockingly honest about her own views on motherhood and, as you can see from above, doesn't shy from telling us how she really feels.
 

*

Niles Crane, from Frasier



'My taekwando instructor says I'm just two moves away from becoming quite threatening.'

Why: He's adorable! The end.

*

Howl Jenkins, from Howl's Moving Castle



'I give up. I see no point in living if I can't be beautiful.'

Why: He's blond, totally in love with himself, literally heartless, a coward and heroic all at once. Like Lestat, except he doesn't stalk the Pope.

*

Debra Morgan, from Dexter  



'I have a scalding hot beverage here, Dex, don't make me use it.'

Why: Foul-mouthed harridan, horribly blunt, acerbic and therefore the best character in the show.

*

Father Ted from Father Ted



'I was just thinking about my next parish. Bishop Brennan is always threatening to send me somewhere unpleasant, and this time I think he just might go through with it. You see...I'm going to kick him up the arse.'

Why: Ted's pretty horrible. He's dishonest, a coward and kicks bishops. But you can't help rooting for him.
 

*

Amelie Poulain, from Amelie




'Nino is late. Amelie can only see two explanations. 1 - he didn't get the photo. 2 - before he could assemble it, a gang of bank robbers took him hostage. The cops gave chase. They got away... but he caused a crash. When he came to, he'd lost his memory. An ex-con picked him up, mistook him for a fugitive, and shipped him to Istanbul. There he met some Afghan raiders who too him to steal some Russian warheads. But their truck hit a mine in Tajikistan. He survived, took to the hills, and became a Mujaheddin. Amelie refuses to get upset for a guy who'll eat borscht all his life in a hat like a tea cosy.

Why: D'awww.
 

*

Basil Fawlty, from Fawlty Towers



'This is typical, absolutely typical of the kind of arse I have to put up with from you people. You ponce in here expecting to be waited on hand and foot, while I'm trying to run a hotel here. Have you any idea of how much there is to do? Do you ever think of that? Of course not, you're all too busy sticking your noses into every corner, poking around for things to complain about, aren't you?'

Why: Because he's hilarious? 
 

*

Andy Dufresne, from The Shawshank Redemption




'Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.'

Why: Because if only we could all face life's trials the way Andy does.
 

*

Alyosha Karamazov, from The Brothers Karamazov



''You said just now, is there a being in the whole world who would have the right to forgive and could forgive? But there is a Being and He can forgive everything, all and for all, because He gave His innocent blood for all and everything. You have forgotten Him, and on Him is built the edifice.'

Why: Where Aloysha's brothers are selfish, critical people, he strives for goodness and somehow humanises the worst characters in the story simply by listening to them without hatred. He believes that his Karamazov blood means he is cursed to mess things up, but he is determined to be good, regardless. I love him.
 

*
Alexis Zorba, from Zorba the Greek



'Look, one day I had gone to a little village. An old grandfather of ninety was busy planting an an almond tree. "What, grandad!" I exclaimed. "Planting an almond tree?" And he, bent as he was, turned around and said: "My son, I carry on as if I should never die." I replied: "And I carry on as if I was going to die any minute." Which of us was right, boss?'

Why: Because he makes such a compelling argument for just enjoying life.
 

*

Edmond Dantes, from The Count of Monte Cristo

'And now, farewell to kindness, humanity and gratitude… I have substituted myself for Providence in rewarding the good; may the God of vengeance now yield me His place to punish the wicked.'

Why: Ruthless, stylish revenge, is why!