If you ever needed proof that television these days is rubbish, that books are inherently superior, or indeed that the Bank Holiday is a conspiracy of boredom to better make the prole appreciate work, let me tell you of a delightful title in the British TV schedules yesterday:
Traffic Jams From Hell.
The fu--? Bank Holiday Monday, and the best ITV could offer was this?
When the voice-over announced that they would be 'interviewing victims of traffic jams"-- cut to a reconstruction with a devastated woman blowing her horn at the gridlock-- jerky camera movements tracing the devastation of unmoving traffic-- I honestly expected it to be revealed as a spoof programme a la Brass Eye. I mean, did the inherent silliness of the programme strike the producers at all? It's like one of those silly titles in The Simpsons such as "When Buildings Collapse!"
Now where the hell did I put The Dice Man...