Limey basta-- oh.

[rebness]

The Brits 2005: OMG miscarriage of justice!!!11!2



Waah.

Franz Ferdinand won two awards—best rock act and Best British Group. One of them was voted for by Kerrang readers. Best song went to some rubbishy claptrap I can’t even recall right now. Certainly, it wasn’t Take Me Out, and neither Vertigo nor Can’t Stand Me Now were even nominated. Robbie Williams was pronounced God, or something.

Yes, here come the Brit Awards to make us all depressed once again.

The thing about British music is this. For a few years now, after the whole Britpop bubble burst, it has floundered. We have had succession of rubbish rappers talking about the harsh realities of life in middle-class rural Kent; we have had countless Eurotrash pop songs released on us, usually with a Spanish refrain that says something like “you and me/under the tree/oh gee/baby” and a ridiculous amount of manufactured pop muppets courtesy of Pop Idol.

Video may have killed the radio star, but Simon Cowell killed the Brits.

Until now! Suddenly, help came a-calling. After a long drought ruled by tat, we were treated to stellar rises from everybody from Franz Ferdinand to the Libertines to Kasabian to Snow Patrol to Jamelia to Joss Stone to, hell…er…ah…Keane. Huzzah! Rejoice! The Brit Awards will no longer be given to Robbie Williams just because the competition is so dire! OMG real music back on the agenda, especially with international greats such as Green Day, the Scissor Sisters, Gwen Stefani et al.

Um, dream on. As ever, the Brits woz robbed.

Now, Keane, best album? Best album for what? Music to sink into a mire of drunken misery by? Music to send babies to sleep? Music complete with cliched Expressionist videos?

The ultimate slap in the face, though, was this: -

Robbie Williams’ fromage-fest, Angels, voted the Best British song of the last 25 years!

Let’s see…

The lyrics are just retarded. This is the kind of song that a cheesy, drunk man will sing to you in a club or pub. One suspects that he “won” this category because after failing to release anything for a while, the Brits organisers, or Robbie’s management, or both, couldn’t dare to have the travesty of not giving every possible award to the poor man’s Dean Martin for once.

Off the top of my head, I can list fellow “best song” nominees Love Will Tear us Apart, Wuthering Heights, as well as songs universally recognised as outstanding, such as Radio Ga Ga, If You Tolerate This…, Don’t Look Back in Anger and, hell, Can’t Get You Out of My Head (Aussie singer, British production team/writer.)

Yes, yes. It’s just an awards ceremony. It’s a ceremony bought and run by shadowy corporate types—it means nothing compared to the public’s NME awards or (dear Lord) even the Grammys.

But imagine this, people. You’re sitting there talking about how such-and-such is amazing, how Queen were an outstanding band, and some fecktard smugly tells you that Angels is officially the best song of the last quarter of a century.

Arm yourselves with sporks.



Even more depressingly, Alex Kapranos has decided to reinvent himself as Begbie from Trainspotting…

Comments

[jaffacakequeen.livejournal.com]

mmm i agree it principle with everything (apart from keane) I wont watch it, i think its a pants music award show, every year they nominate crap, and crap wins. Even this year with the obvious new bands, they still thought of will young? kylie minogue? etc., and there isnt a year that doesnt go past without some homage to Queen for Gods sake! we have some excellent quality music out there and it all gets ignored unless its in the Top 40!

Robbie williams, didnt even write Angels! he co-wrote it and do me a favour! Radio 2 listeners i am ashamed you voted for that shit! You think that is a better single than Wuthering Heights? GRRRRRR

Now joss stone thankfully deserved her win. Too talented for her age.

Chris moyles were playing Franz Ferdinand live song from the Brits and my GOD they were pants! he was soo taking the piss out of thier missed guitar and appalling singing. They need more practise.

Anyway and Keane is good, i wont say brilliant, but i really enjoyed there album. :-p

[rebness.livejournal.com]

Aww, man, were they? :(

Not happy. They were good on Jools Holland's Hogmanay show, but I don't think they're quite there yet with their live performances. That so should have gone to The Libertines. Fecktards!

You're right, Pen. Every year-- Kylie Minogue, Robbie Williams. I want to know who is doing whom if you know what I mean and I think you do. >:(

Ah spit in your general direction!

[rebness.livejournal.com]

Oh, and Keane are pants. PANTS, I tells ya!

(Back me up with this, Kel)

*runs*

Re: Ah spit in your general direction!

[earthlydelight.livejournal.com]

It's all Chubby's fault.

Re: Ah spit in your general direction!

[mothergoddamn.livejournal.com]

Keane are the anti-Christ-if Satan's powers consisted of making you very drowsy and unable to use heavy machinery.

Re: Ah spit in your general direction!

[rebness.livejournal.com]

...And if Hell is an evil grey land of mediocrity.

HURRAH! Gwen Stefani's on!

A collection of increasingly random comments

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

rubbish rappers talking about the harsh realities of life in middle-class rural Kent

LOL

fromage-fest

LOL, too.

Don’t Look Back in Anger

I love this song.

Begbie from Trainspotting

Someday I mean to write Begbie/Rents slash, you know. Doesn't that make you want to write it, eh?

Re: A collection of increasingly random comments

[rebness.livejournal.com]

Random comments are the best kind, dontcha know.

Don’t Look Back in Anger is one of my favourite ever songs. Lovely melody, very summery, from when British pop was having a mini-renaissance. Good stuff.

Every time I see that non-friends banner on your LJ, I think naughty thoughts. >:)

*Begbie would use whips*

LOL!

I want to write Kapranos slash, but only from his floppy-haired days. :(

[verastar99.livejournal.com]

"Even more depressingly, Alex Kapranos has decided to reinvent himself as Begbie from Trainspotting…"


*snort*

[rebness.livejournal.com]

He was my Crush, Vera. Now I have to find someone else. Dubya, maybe?

[mothergoddamn.livejournal.com]

HOWEVER MY GUYS AND GAL TOOK HOME THREE! HURRAH!

[rebness.livejournal.com]

That was SUCH a good opening performance! Brilliant!

[mothergoddamn.livejournal.com]

My guys and gal wouldn't let me down.

[saffronlie.livejournal.com]

I like Robbie Williams. And anyway, look here, missy. The so-called decline of British music does *not* represent the decline of civilisation as we know it. Look at last year's ARIAs. Jet blitzed those awards and the only band that could be less original than Jet would be a covers group. It's not a big deal and you're all a bunch of drama queens. The end. :D

[rebness.livejournal.com]

Music + art = civilisation.

Collapse of music + art = collapse of civilisation as we know it.

OMG RUN FOR UR LIVES!!!11!

(Do you know, my excellent wench, that 99% of my silliness in this journal is generated by you and Kelly?)

The awards sucked, and so say all the Brits! Now we shall bite our collective Anglo-Celtic thumbs at you.

[saffronlie.livejournal.com]

Well, your art isn't collapsing. Or is it? I don't even want to know. :P

And what are you talking about? I'm not silly. School is a serious place.

[diana-molloy.livejournal.com]

I meant to watch this but well endedup falling asleep an hour beforehand. Best alb should have been won by Franz Ferdinand but it was obvious Keane would win it. Pop act Mcfly got a shake of the head from me when I found out. The Best British Single did not have a single decent song in the cattegory. All pants. and Robbie = Nooooooooooo. From that list all the rest were better and really if he has the best song in the past 25yrs then music has really gone down the loo. That is one of the most overplayed rubbishy songs in the past 25yrs certainly not the best./ Not even in the best 100.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

That is one of the most overplayed rubbishy songs in the past 25yrs certainly not the best./ Not even in the best 100

Word.

[peregrinuscanus.livejournal.com]

OH the hair has gone! Another savaged crush down the drain...
Keane - I don't understand why that album is called Songs of Hope and wotsit
I looked at the lyrics - no hope anywhere. I put it on after my daughter's guineapig died, thinking I could find something soothing and hopeful but had to switch it off. Every line was worse than the last - all apparently relating to poor little animals dying and getting lost.

I don't understand where the nominations for "Greatest Song of 25 Years" came from (other than Radio 2 listeners), but I have to say I wouldn't have minded it being Will Young, although he didn't write Leave Right Now. It's going to be a song that is played for years. Your Game won Best Song, which I also liked, but it should have gone to Franz Ferdinand, for Matinee or Take Me Out.