(no subject)

[rebness]

It's back to the insomnia for me, which isn't prompted by anything more than... erm... I like staying awake and reading, and then I wake up at just about every hour. I want to be a lady of leisure. I'm already a Lady, thanks to patchworkgirl_ and wig_maker, so now I just need to bag some hapless geriatric millionaire. Sorted.

When I'm tired, there has to be drama. Today's drama at work was a hella bemusing meeting to draw up a contingency plan for the arrival of bird 'flu in the UK. This was either very amusing, given that bird 'flu hasn't hit Europe yet and the tabloids' prediction that OMGZ we'll all be dead by Christmas 2005 failed to materialise... or very worrying when the NHS doesn't really do sensationalism and regards MRSA as a lark.

Anyway, I zoned out midway through the talk because I made up my mind long ago that my personal contingency plan will be to lock myself up in my room with the alsatian for warmth, protection and comfort (and to eat if zombies roam the streets), so screw work. Seriously, normal 'flu makes my asthmatic soul quail, so I'm not helping make up numbers if people start falling ill at work. The world's overdue a 'flu pandemic, isn't it? But, you know. There were no internets around at that time. I can almost imagine the fine drama that would have erupted:

Jollygoodshow: Oh, dear chaps. I'm afraid I shan't be wanking about the Marx manifesto and xxxlouisebrooks1xxx's reaction to slashing Dickens and Wilde today. One's family is terribly ill with that Spanish 'flu and are dying in the next room. My female parental unit insists I get offline and die with them.
cabron_1: Erm... excuse me. Your stereotyping is offensive. I think you'll find that it's the French disease
etoile: OMG it's totally Spanish!!!1 How dare you slander me?!
cabron_1: I'm 1/26 French, so I'm allowed to say these things
Jollygoodshow: Right. I think it's spreading through France, Spain and Germany now, anyway.We're all going to die.
Britte: This is just what Germany needs. More destruction.
cabron_1: I'm sorry, did you people hear anything?
Jollygoodshow No
etoile: No Germans here
Yank: No
Britte: Oh, very funny. My troubles don't exist. That's fine. Keep ignoring me and I'll go away. RL doesn't work like that!!
etoile: Kthnxbye
Britte: I'll be back, bitch
etoile: Yeah? You and whose army?
Yank: Guys, please. Everyone needs to act honorable at a time like this!
Jollygoodshow: You missed out the u there
Yank: Screw you!
cabron_1: LOL internet
Jollygoodshow*Coughhack* BRB
User = Jollygoodshow has been disconnected

Comments

[saffronlie.livejournal.com]

That's what you thought up during the meeting, isn't it? During the whole meeting. Wow. And why does your hospital have to make the contingency plan, anyway? Shouldn't the government or the NHS draw up a nice big general plan and then just tell you that's what you have to do? It worries me that someone like you has to "plan" this sort of thing. :P

[rebness.livejournal.com]

Well, I thought of that. And other things. "Turkey," said my boss, and I thought of Christmas. "Europe," she said, and I wondered how much Napoli is going to cost in September. "Contingency", she said, and I looked at my nails, and wondered what colour I should paint them. "Talk," she said, and I thought of that.

The NHS should draw up a plan, but then it would go on the intranet and nobody would listen. I'd worry about people like me taking charge as well, considering that I'll run at the first sign of a sneeze.

[wig-maker.livejournal.com]

Still waiting for your Ladyship to get us some free tickets to places. You must have some supreme powers or other?

[rebness.livejournal.com]

...I can walk on water?

[wig-maker.livejournal.com]

Hm. We can work with that. String a dinghy to you and you could pull us over to France. Travel in style.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

What if the bird 'flu hits there first? Hmm. How about the Orkney islands? I bet they'd be fit for a Lady.

HOWL!

*ahem*

[ladydaydream.livejournal.com]

I'm already a Lady

Yes but is this a Lady in the Little Britain sense of the word? After you did have that operation before Christmas, hmmm.

My strategy for bird flu is to glare at KFC as I go past it. I think it's probably on a par with most public authority plans.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

No, a real lady, who presses flowers and strokes kittens...and shit. With real lady parts!

Those two excellent wenches bought me a square foot of land near this loch in Scotland for my birthday last year. My title deeds informed me that I'm legally allowed to call myself Lady in Scotland. Or Laird if the fancy (or the operation) takes me. Isn't that the best? >:)

Well, I hates chicken, anyway. Worryingly, your contingency plan probably is more effective than our "can we run on skeleton staff if the rest of the staff have become skeletons?" plan.

[ladydaydream.livejournal.com]

My title deeds informed me that I'm legally allowed to call myself Lady in Scotland.

Now that is impressive. :) I'd buy you a foot of land near where I live but I think that would just entitle you to be called a chav! :D

[rebness.livejournal.com]

LMFAO!!

[pandorasblog]

Just get them that two-part Doctor Who thing about gasmaskfaceism; those episodes teach all you need to know about how hospitals should act in the face (sorry) of bizarre diseases running rampant. Yep, turning to science fiction never steered me wrong, no siree...

And we must talk. :D I'm going to stalk you on IM tonight. *eval*

[rebness.livejournal.com]

Are you mummy? Are you my mummy? That was terrifying! :O

Even more terrifying-- Derek Acorah, guesting as himself, in the next series! *Flails*

Oh, Angelina, waitress at the Pizzeria -- we do need to talk! I'm aboot whenever, so just drop me a line. Or send me a postcard. Indicating precisely what you mean to say. Yours sincerely, wasting away.

Am in a very musical mood tonight, yo.

[pandorasblog]

Even more terrifying-- Derek Acorah, guesting as himself, in the next series! *Flails*

YOU. ARE. KIDDING. ZOMG!!!!!!