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Anyone who knows me knows how proud I am to be European. They'll also know that I'm marginally less proud, but still happy, to be British. However, there's one thing that drives me mad about my culture, and which I wish I could overcome... the British fear of complaining.

Oh, sure. We're the nastiest, snarkiest, most sarcastic of races. We'll bitch and whine and moan when the waiter brings our steak and it's still bloody, or has been cremated. We'll mutter about how terrible the government is, our media will always knock people down with glee-- but we never, ever, ever bitch to someone's face. We won't call the waiter back and tell them the food sucks. We won't whine to the bank about poor service. We're Anally, Awfully Polite, By Gosh.

There's a woman who works in my office who lived in America up until about a year ago. She is the best of every American stereotype: strong, loud, outspoken, friendly, confident. In the Mental Health Directorate, we always order our sandwiches from this nice bar down the road which also does boxed salads. Coronation chicken is ambrosia from the Gods.

Except for today, when mine tasted eggy, sour and, with each passing bite, I remembered the duck which poisoned me this year and had me in agony for two days. Couple this with the fact I am still bloody ill, and I was panicking. So I'm sitting there, bitching about how awful my coronation chicken was, how I was going to die, etc. American woman looks at me and says, "Phone them up and complain!"

"I can't!" I cried, "I just can't!"

"Of course you can. You said it was awful. We paid for the service, and it sucked."

"I...no, I can't."

"For God's sake. Let the American handle this." She picks up the phone and dials. I breathe a sigh of relief. American woman will handle it and I don't have to be horrible to the sandwich people. "Yes, yes," she says, "let me put the lady through."

I panic as my 'phone rings. What follows is a stuttered, mumbled explanation followed by me apologising for being so much trouble, but would she mind terribly that her chicken is off?

"Well," sniffed the baker, after offering me another salad as compensation (er, no thanks) "we haven't had any other complaints."

And that's just the thing. Around this city now, dozens of people will be gagging and choking on their salmonella chicken, but will they complain, bless their British souls?

Will they feck. Bah.

I can't get no satisfaction

Date: 2004-12-14 12:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rebness.livejournal.com
That would have been £10 minimum, or the equivalent of a year's paid LJ account. Stupid damned expensive mobile 'phones.

However-- 3am wake-up calls are indeed a strong incentive. Hmm. *strokes chin.*

At this point, I realise that I need a "Cunning Plan" Blackadder icon. :(

Re: I can't get no satisfaction

Date: 2004-12-14 12:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saffronlie.livejournal.com
See! You got a paid account and it didn't bring you happiness.

Chocolate brings me happiness.

Re: I can't get no satisfaction

Date: 2004-12-14 12:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rebness.livejournal.com
Amelie and her quinze laugh in your face.

Re: I can't get no satisfaction

Date: 2004-12-14 12:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rebness.livejournal.com
You are strange. I am going to write an ode to chocolate and throw myself off a cliff now because I don't have any Dairy Milk.

Re: I can't get no satisfaction

Date: 2004-12-14 12:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saffronlie.livejournal.com
You shouldn't have been in such a hurry to savage that snowman, then, should you.

Oh dear. I just remembered the piece of Baci cake I shared with a friend when we got coffee after work instead of going for a walk. The calories, the calories!

Re: I can't get no satisfaction

Date: 2004-12-14 12:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rebness.livejournal.com
Hahaha. Your hips shall hate you now. Maybe they'll run off with my liver.

Didn't order lunch today because of the poison chicken. That means... *drum roll* 2,000 step walk! ARRGH.

I have a pedometer, you know.

Re: I can't get no satisfaction

Date: 2004-12-14 12:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saffronlie.livejournal.com
I bet your liver's a hussy. My hips shall stay faithful.

2,000 step walk where? I bought my Dad one of those for Christmas but SSHH DON'T TELL HIM.

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