Virgil Virgin

[rebness]

Second book of the dark, murky wasteland days of internet loss is Virgil's The Aeneid. Wow. Am so smart, and stuff.

Except for the part where, thus far, I've only managed to work out who the equivalent of Juno, Jupiter and Venus are. I have no damned idea who that guy is with the swirly winds. I thought he was Neptune, but then Neptune turned up. Perhaps Apollo? No, there's Phoebus Apollo right there. WOE.

Does anyone know what happened to Paris? I didn't find out from The Illiad and I'm not sure I will from Virgil. The Odyssey is currently in hiding, or Jack finally defeated Odysseus.

Also, every time Dido speaks, I imagine her to use a North London accent.

Postmodernist mindsets suck.

Comments

[saffronlie.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure Paris dies in the fall of Troy, although obviously not when he's being played by Orlando Bloom.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

Dammit, Paris should have lived, just to annoy Achilles.

I am not pleased that Helen was spared. In the Odyssey, she's all, "dude! Look how content and Greek I am!" and I'm all, "you selfish bloody cow!"

Orlando can't die. See, he's too pretty.

[saffronlie.livejournal.com]

That's the same reason why Helen can't die. Agamemnon, see, he's totally fugly, so he can die.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

Helen lives just because she's teh pretteh? BOO.

I'd say Hector should have lived on account of prettiness and worthiness, but that's more a Bana thing.

Agreed about Agamemnon. He's an ugly fecktard, and also killed his daughter and stuff. I can't understand why that wench Elektra got all annoyed when her mother took revenge for the killing of her eldest daughter. Ungrateful child!

[saffronlie.livejournal.com]

Random sidenote. My friend and I did a duologue in the eisteddfod once that was from some Greek play about all that stuff. I was Electra and she was Chloe or something? No, wait, Chrysothemis. Electra's sister, apparently. The opening line of the scene was her coming in and exclaiming, "Electra!" and it used to make us laugh every single time. I'm not sure how we kept it together to actually perform. Then we, you know, bitched about each other because Chrysothemis was heartless and Electra needed revenge on her father. Actually, it's a really sad scene because Chrysothemis reveals that if Electra doesn't stop bitching Aegisthus is going to banish her for a dungeon, and Electra decides she's going to continue wanting to avenge her father anyway.

You can see where Electra's coming from, though. Her mother *did* start sleeping with her cousin.

Eric Bana. Poiter. I can say nothing more.

I also read this strange novel about Electra wherein she joined up with Cassandra, who apparently didn't die in the fall of Troy but hooked up with two Greek blokes and they had threesomes on the hillsides while old men perved. Orestes, meanwhile, was having hallucinations.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

LMAO! Threesomes on a hill? Oh, boy. I have to read that. >:)

The Aeneid, right, is even more sycophantic than Macbeth. This guy is all, "I was starred to win Italy!" and "I am totally the Trojan ruler now, and...er...ah, oh yes! Jupiter came and told me so!"

He's teh suck. Classical people are always so full of themselves. Except my poor Hector, Tamer of Horses. :(

Well, okay, mum was sleeping with her cousin. But dad still brutally murdered the sister, meaning one less Nameday present each year. Dad should totally get it.

You were involved in a play about that? Excellent. I hope it didn't touch on all those Freudian thingies, though.

[saffronlie.livejournal.com]

There was lots of sprinkling of seed and stuff, so I'd say, no, you really don't have to read it.

But Aeneas, right, is totally my Greek crush hottie. Shut up about my schmoopy little Aeneas. Okay, so I only like him for his characterisation in The Firebrand, but whatever. He's hot. And totally deserves to start the new cities!

Dad totally does get it and deserves it, but you can't blame Orestes for having to get revenge. It's like those Icelandic sagas where they don't. stop. killing. each other. And you're like, I can't read 300 more pages of this, and put the book down.

It was just one scene, not the full play, which, now that I look at it, is the Sophocles one. Wow, how cool am I.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

See, I think the Greeks were all savage and sucked for being so war-mongering against the poor Trojans, and I was like, "go on, Aenas! You totally deserve to rule!"

But if he says one more time that he has been marked out by Jupiter to be special unique specialness, I'll have to scream, I'm afraid.

However! This. I'm only two chapters in-- let's see what happens.

Tell me about Firebrand. I'm sure you already have, but you know that I never remember anything, and I'm coming over all Secret History now and embracing the Classical world. :(

It's like those Icelandic sagas where they don't. stop. killing. each other. And you're like, I can't read 300 more pages of this, and put the book down.

Oh, you know. It's a Northern thing. And I'd be able to vouch for that if weren't for the fact that the British were all in mud huts or something at the time of Aenas and his amazingness.

(I want to read some Icelandic Death saga.)

[saffronlie.livejournal.com]

It sounds like Aeneas has a case of Very Special and Spesh Mary-Sue Specialness. Oh dear.

The Firebrand is Marion Zimmer Bradley's molestation of the Trojan War to make it over into feminist girl power mystic woman empowerment novel where men have emotions but also, for the most part, suck. Like she did to King Arthur with The Mists of Avalon. Naturally, I love it like whoa.

Okay, see. Now you've opened up the sore point. I went to speech and drama this evening and we watched a documentary on the beginnings of Great Britain, done by that Simon Schama whose tics give *me* a tic. We watched this because, through faults of our schooling and our studying for drama, we've only ever looked at English literature starting from about the Renaissance and not at any other literature at all. I'm not complaining about that, because that's just what the syllabus is from Trinity College and also the Australian drama colleges, so whatever, but *I* can piece it all together. No one else seemed to, and it drove. me. crazy. I had to be Knowledge Girl when really I don't know much, I just do this stuff at uni and remember a fair bit from high school history. How do people not realise that not everyone speaks English? That there's been civilisation, as such, for thousands of years? That there was literature before there was English? Why do people ask so many damn questions instead of just going and reading a book?! HONESTLY. How do they think *I* learned anything? I READ ABOUT IT.

Anyway. Penguin has a bunch of translated Icelandic sagas and I'm sure they're relatively cheap. You could have my two because I can't get past:
"Here is the blood money for your cousin."
"I keel you now. Here is the blood money."
"You're so dead. Blood money. Now we are even."
"Not if I kill you in revenge! Mwahahaha! Yes, alright, blood money."

Or I could borrow some from stalky-prof -- he's loaned me half of his library already.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

Well, seeing as the Celts, the Romans, the Vikings and every man and his dog invaded Britain, to read about Graeco-Roman history is to read about the history of Britain, in a skewed sense.

I was talking with my mum last night about this. How many true English people are there? I mean, descendants from the Angles? I bet not many. Our history rocks, dude! (In a very bloody, sort-of Icelandic sense.)

Try telling this to some Brits, though. Often you'll get an "Eng-er-land" reply, so you just go back to your classics and feel very smug, and very nerdy. >:)

I am going to look out for The Firebrand when I go to stalk Dessaix stock at Waterstone's this Friday, then. It may be interesting-- so much of the Illiad is like, "And then Achilles did slaughter seven men, ripping their thorax out; Achilles, swift runner, pounded lots of people good."

To borrow a phrase... how like a man.

[saffronlie.livejournal.com]

But the Angles were a Germanic tribe, so wouldn't the "true English", if you could quantify them (I have a hunch it's like asking who was the real King Arthur), the Britons and earlier tribes?

My point, anyway, was that I hate being asked lots of questions all the time, especially when the answers are very obvious or just require a little initiative to find out. :(

Achilles is kind of effeminate and also stupid in The Firebrand, so that will be a nice change of pace.

[rebness.livejournal.com]

That is a good point. Oh, who knows who the "true" Brits are, anymore? Maybe there are about three true Brits left, what with all the slaughtering, the yelling and the huge battles.

I wish they could do like a blood test or something to work that out. At the moment, I'm sure they can only tell you if you're of European blood. Well, guh.

Yaay for being effeminate. Boo for stupid people. I shalt,however, read of Achilles, runner and stupid person.

[pigeongirl99.livejournal.com]

Being rude nd butting in, because, well, why not...

Paris, yup snuffed it I'm afraid-

"...No sooner was Philoctetes about again, than he challenged Paris to a combat in archery. The first arrow he shot went wide, the second pierced Paris' bow-hand, the third blinded his right eye, and the fourth struck his ankle, wounding him mortally. Despite Menelaus's attempt to dispatch Paris, he contrived to hobble from the field ad take refuge in Troy. That night the Trojans carried him to Mount Ida, where he begged his former mistress, the nymph Oenone, to heal him; from an inveterate hatred of Helen, however, she cruelly shook her head and he was brought back to die. Presently Oenone relented, and ran to Troy with a basketful of healing drugs, but found him already dead..." - Robert Graves The Greek Myths

[rebness.livejournal.com]

Dude, you're not butting in-- you've answered my question! Huzzah!

Dammit. So Paris died at Troy? That's damned sad. Stupid Helen. >:

What I do like, Pige, is how they interweave the idea of life and death with the Gods and the nymphs and immortal wonders. There's something desperately sad and beautiful about it all. Even my more Paris being all 1066'd. ;)

[pigeongirl99.livejournal.com]

I know. The brevity of these lives and the immortality of others- it really does take my breath away.

If you're having a Greek myth thing, I do recommend Robert Graves The Greek Myths Vol 1 & 2. They are beautifully written, and have all the background and source info as well. The most perfect myth books I've ever come across.

[pandorasblog]

*sigh* I'm so not well-read. I bought The Odyssey in Oxfam a while ago, so I need to get around to that...