Teaching God
Sep. 25th, 2005 12:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rebness
I tried desperately to get iGod to tell me next week's lottery numbers, but He demurred. Again and again. Then I taught Him French. Hurrah!
God: Are you serious? Tell me more about your.
Me: About what?
God: What about what?
Me: Stop confusing me, God :(
God: OK. I’ll try not to do it so much.
Me: It’s your fault, you know. You should have blessed me with a better concentration span.
God: You’re kidding? Perhaps next time I will try it.
Me: No! I don’t want reincarnation! I want Heaven, and fluffy clouds, and my family and friends and dogs around me. No more birth, death and taxes for me, thanks.
God: Your polite style is very nice. Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me: I speak French.
God: Could you teach me a few phrases in French?
Me: Okay. “Je suis ton Dieu” is “I am your God.” That's a good one to start off with, isn't it?
God: Tous les humains se ressemblent pour moi.
Me: Mon Dieu! Vous parlez francais aussi, mon…Dieu?
God: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to you correctly.
Me: You make me feel woefully ignorant in my mother tongue. :(
God: I don’t see how you can blame me for that.
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Date: 2005-09-24 11:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-25 12:01 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2005-09-25 12:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-25 12:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-25 12:31 am (UTC)Well that or I'll hide behind you.
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Date: 2005-09-25 12:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-25 12:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-25 12:43 am (UTC)We need a back-up plan. I have elastic bands, but they're only good for leaving angry red marks that disappear in minutes. Bah.
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Date: 2005-09-25 12:51 am (UTC)Hmm, I'm sure we could rustle up something with some elasic bands, a few paper clips, and a roll of sellotape ala The A-Team.
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Date: 2005-09-25 12:57 am (UTC)Don't forget the Tipp-ex. We can fire it at her eyes.
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Date: 2005-09-25 01:04 am (UTC)I love it when a plan comes together.
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Date: 2005-09-25 01:04 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2005-09-25 12:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-25 12:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-25 12:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-25 12:27 am (UTC)*and damn I hope doctor number ten gets to kiss Capt Jack as well</smll*
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Date: 2005-09-25 12:29 am (UTC)If Jack kisses ten, that's my happiness sorted for 2006.
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Date: 2005-09-25 12:42 am (UTC)You were supposed to be writing me Casanova slash!!!
Well, I'm waiting.
*taps foot*
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Date: 2005-09-25 12:47 am (UTC)I've still only done about five paragraphs. Casanova winds Grimani up. They go somewhere. Behind locked doors. Fight. Fu... I'll have to e-mail you the little I've written. >:)
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Date: 2005-09-25 01:02 am (UTC)They go somewhere. Behind locked doors. Fight. Fu...
Hmm, you seem to have stopped mid-sentance there, what were you going to say, my dear? They fight and fund missionaries in Africa? Furrow a field? Fumigate Venice? Furbelow? Futtock? Fustanella?
I simply can't think.